toxic positivity

One of the new words for last year was bright-siding, that is, reacting to someone else’s distress or grief by exhorting them to be cheerful.  In the pursuit of happiness we must not let any negative feelings pull us down, so we resolutely blot out our own sadness and we refuse to accept the sadness of others, usually because we find it too difficult to deal with. 

 This elevation of a positive mindset as the key to happiness has had some disturbing consequences, one of which is a complete lack of happiness.  The fact is that no one can be happy all the time.  We have our moments of depression and very real grief and should be allowed to work our way through them.  Otherwise we are putting an artificial coating of cheerfulness on our lives. Such toxic positivity at these moments at best trivialises our feelings, at worst negates them entirely.  On top of everything else that we have to endure, it seems to be our own fault that we are not happy. This leads to anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, and depression.